I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
