I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
it's like iHOP with fire
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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