Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
