Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
FUCK WHALES
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
