I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
did i walk over a car last night?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
