officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
