After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
