there's paper in my vomit.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize