I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My ass is underappreciated
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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