Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Your cock deserves a montage
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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