It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
