Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
