She's JV to your varsity
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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