NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
