brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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