it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize