You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
