We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
