Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
