Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
