i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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