I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
