Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
