just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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