i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
