kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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