It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
