And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Alive.
So much puke
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
