Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
