We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
