Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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