Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
