I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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