if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize