I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
