the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
