you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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