I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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