so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
