I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Drake has all the answers
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
