can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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