this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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