I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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