I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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