Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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