My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
my poor anus
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize