eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
