i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
