he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
