Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
