I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
