i was born a porn star she said
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
