his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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