He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I need water and some morals
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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