Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
