Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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