Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
