Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
