matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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