And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
