Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
