$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
How external is "for external use only"?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
