Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god

(202): View more from Washington, DC

you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture

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(931): View more from Tennessee

woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?

(615): View more from Tennessee

New experience?

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(301): View more from Maryland

all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.

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(334): View more from Alabama

I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.

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(516): View more from New York

Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.

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(831): View more from California

When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.

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