things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize