To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
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He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You were trust falling into bushes
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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